MAX ON LIFE

101. I'm single and loving it. Someday, however, I want to settle down and have a family. I've seen enough bad marriages to make me wonder what I can do to have a good one. How can I select the right mate?

A person makes two big decisions in life. The first has to do with faith. The second has to do with family. The first question is, "Who is my God?" The second, "Who, if anyone, will be my spouse?" The first question defines the second. Your God defines your family. If your God is yourself, then you call your own shots because your marriage is for your pleasure and nothing more. But if your God is Christ, then he calls the shots because your marriage is for his honor.

Does that surprise you? You thought marriage was all about you? It's not. Marriage is God's idea. He created it because most of us are better God-followers with a partner than we are alone. Most of us are more effective with our gifts, more faithful in our convictions, more fruitful in our service if we are not living alone. Since marriage is God's idea, wouldn't you think he has an idea as to whom we should marry? He does.

"Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14)

When my wife, Denalyn, and I climb into the same car, we must agree on the destination. We may disagree on the food we eat. We may disagree on the number of stops we make. We may even disagree on what music to play. But if she wants to go to Mexico and I want to go to Colorado, we have a problem.

Marry someone who loves God more than you do. If you and your spouse don't agree on the goal of the journey, you will have problems. If his goal is to be rich and your goal is to go to heaven.... if her aim in life is retirement and your aim in life is serving God.... you will have issues.

• "But I'm so attracted to him. I can convert him". You aren't called to missionary dating.
• "We're not serious, just having a good time". When your definitions of a good time aren't the same, who wins?
• "But I want to get married so badly..." Your think no marriage is bad? Try a bad marriage.
• "Have you seen the options among Christians?" God has plans you've never seen.

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires". (Ps 37:4)

The longer you date a nonbeliever, the longer you postpone the opportunity for God to bring the right person your way. If you are a child of God and you marry a child of the Devil, you're going to have trouble with your father-in-law.

By: Max Lucado