MAX ON LIFE

130. My husband and I want to be hospitable, but our house is small, and I'm a lousy cook, so I hesitate to invite people over. My husband says these things don't matter as much as being hospitable. Is he right?

Your husband is right. The event need not be elaborate to be significant. Don't listen to the Martha Stewart voice that says everything must be perfect. The house must be perfect. The china must be perfect. Meal. Kids. Husband. Scented guest towels, warm appetizers, after-dinner mints. Everything must be perfect.

If we wait until everything is perfect, we'll never issue an invitation.

It's no accident that hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word, for they both lead to the same result: healing. When you open your door to someone, you are sending this message: "You matter to me and to God." You may think you are saying, "Come over for a visit." But what your guest hears is, "I'm worth the effort."

Do you know people who need this message? Singles who eat alone? Young couples who are far from home? Seniors who no longer drive? Some people pass an entire day with no meaningful contact with anyone else. Your hospitality can be their hospital. All you need are a few basic practices.

Issue a genuine invitation. Let your guests know you want them to come. Call them on the phone, or step over to their desks at work. People weather so many daily rejections. The doctor can't see them. The kids didn't call. The airplane is booked. But then you invite them over. We have room for you! Life altering.

Make a big deal of their arrival. Gather the entire family at the front door. Swing it open as you see them approach. If you have a driveway, meet them on it. If your apartment complex has a lobby, be waiting for them. This is a parade-worthy moment. One of God's children is coming to your house!

Address the needs of your guests. First-century hospitality included footwashing. Modern-day hospitality includes the sharing of food and drink. Time to talk and listen. No televisions blaring in the background. No invasive music.

Send them out with a blessing. Make it clear you are glad your guest came. Offer a prayer for their safety and a word of encouragement for their travel.

Remember this: what is common to you is a banquet to someone else. You think your house is small, but to the lonely heart, it is a castle. You think the living room is a mess, but to the person whose life is a mess, your house is a sanctuary. You think the meal is simple, but to those who eat alone every night, pork and beans on paper plates tastes like file mignon. What is small to you is huge to them.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

129. I have one child in middle school and another starting to drive. Am I wrong to worry about them?

No, you are a parent. And Jesus heeds the concern in a parent's heart. After all, our kids were his kids first. "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?" (Ps 127:3). Before they were ours, they were his. Even as they are ours, they are still his.

We tend to forget this fact, regarding our children as our children as though we have the final say in their health and welfare. We don't. All people are God's people, including the small people who sit at our tables. Wise are the parents who regularly give their children back to God.

Jesus said so little about parenting, made no comments about spanking, breast feeding, sibling rivalry, or schooling. Yet his actions spoke volumes about prayer. Each time a parent prayed, Christ responded. His big message to moms and dads? Bring your children to me. Raise them in a greenhouse of prayer.

When you send them off for the day, do so with a blessing. When you tell them good night, cover them in prayer. Is your daughter stumped by geography homework? Pray with her about it. Is your son intimidated by the new girl? Pray with him about her. Pray that your children have a profound sense of place in this world and a heavenly place in the next.

God never dismisses a parent's prayer.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

128. Our family is exhausted. We run from one event to the next. How do we slow down?

Jesus understands. He knew the frenzy of life. People back-to-backed his calendar with demands. But he also knew how to step away from the game.

"Now when it was day, He departed and went into a deserted place." (Luke 4:42)

Jesus placed the mob in the rearview mirror and ducked into a wildlife preserve, a hidden cove, a vacant building, a deserted place. Later in the verse Luke identifies the reason: "the crowd.... tried to keep Him from leaving them." People brought Jesus more than sick bodies and seeking souls. They brought him agendas Itineraries. Unsolicited advice. The herd of humanity wanted to set Jesus' course. "Heed us", they said. "We'll direct your steps."

They say the same to you. Look over your shoulder, my friend. The crowd is one step back. Moreover, they seem to know more about your life than you do. Where you should work. Whom you should marry. What you should study. They will lead your life if you allow them.

Jesus didn't. Follow his example.

Deserted need not mean desolate, just quiet. Simply a place to which you, like Jesus, depart. "Now when it was day, He departed." Depart presupposes a decision on the part of Jesus. "I need to get away. To think. To ponder To rechart my course." He determined the time, selected a place. With resolve, he pressed the pause button on his life.

God rested after six days of work, and the world didn't collapse. What makes us think it will if we do" (Or do we fear it won't?)

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

127. I really dread going home for the holidays. My parents and brothers turn Christmas into chaos. They don't respect me or encourage me. In fact, they hardly talk to me.

We can't control the way our family responds to us. When it comes to the behavior of others toward us, our hands are tied. We have to move beyond the naive expectation that if we do good, people will treat us right. The fact is, they may, or they may not.

If your father is a jerk, you could be the world's best daughter, and he still wouldn't tell you so.

If your aunt doesn't like your career, you could change jobs a dozen times and still never satisfy her.

If your sister is always complaining about what you got and she didn't, you could give her everything, and she still might not change.

As long as you think you can control people's behavior toward you, you are held in bondage by their opinions. If you think you can control their opinion and their opinion isn't positive, than guess whom you have to blame. Yourself.

It's a game with unfair rules and fatal finishes.

I can't assure you that your family will ever give you the blessing you seek, but I know God will. Let God give you what your family doesn't. If your earthly father doesn't affirm you, then let your heavenly Father take his place.

How do you do that? By emotionally accepting God as your Father. You see, it's one thing to accept him as Lord, another to recognize him as Savior, but it's another matter entirely to accept him as Father.

God has proven himself as a faithful Father. Now it falls to us to be trusting children. Let God give you what your family doesn't. Let him fill the void others have left. Rely on him for your affirmation and encouragement. Look at Paul's words: "You are God's child, and God will give you the blessing he promised, because you are his child" (Gal 4:7, emphasis mine).

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

126. Our family issue is money. My husband and I can't agree on how much to spend, save, or give.

Denalyn and I had to sort this one out as well. We were raised in two different environments. My parents were very frugal and debt resistant. They never took out a loan or spent a penny they didn't record. Denalyn's parents were more spontaneous and credit dependent. Consequently, when we married, I wanted to save more, and Denalyn wanted to spend more.

We had to spend some time learning what the Bible says about money. According to Scripture, God gives you a paycheck for four reasons.

To honor your God: "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce" (Prov 3:9). Your checkbook is an instrument of worship. Just as you honor God with your voice and your prayer, you honor God when you give money to his work.

To provide for your family: "But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers" (1 Tim 5:8). These are some of the hardest words in the Bible. God never intended for children to go hungry or families to suffer in the cold. The well-being of the family trumps the need for bass boats or diamonds every times.

To support your country: "Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority" (Rom 13:7). Roads must be paid for. Schools must be supported. Citizens of heaven are not exempt from doing their share on earth.

To enjoy it: "Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment" (1 Tim 6:17).

These four priorities helped Denalyn and me map out a simple strategy for money management. In our second year of marriage, after too many tense moments about money, we came up with this plan:

10 percent to the church

10 percent to savings

80 percent to bills and fun

We both felt the conviction to tithe. I felt the conviction to save, and Denalyn felt led to encourage free enterprise. So we compromised. After we have honored God and put some money in savings, the 80 percent that remains has always been sufficient for day-to-day needs. This plan has worked so well for us that we've been able to increase giving well beyond the 10 percent level.

Find a plan that works for you.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

125. I was raised in a Christian home, but now that I'm thirty-four and unmarried, I struggle with loneliness and insecurity. I'm afraid of being alone but even more afraid of the temptation to embrace sin just to keep from being alone. Where can I find a candle of hope in the darkness of loneliness?

It's natural that you long for companionship. It's in our DNA. God used part of a man to make a woman. A couple fits together like a human puzzle, strengths complementing weaknesses, passions unifying hearts, love at the core. These two undefined pieces make a complete picture when they meet. Consequently, a single person might feel incomplete. Life becomes an unfinished puzzle for them, searching for the other piece.

Many singles think marriage makes life perfect. Hmm, just ask a married person about that. Marriage complicates many things. Being single, at times, is easier. You have only one person to worry about. Add a spouse and a couple of kids, and your needs become secondary.

Paul know this and liked being single.

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Cor 7:32-35)

Marriage redefines our service. Participating in Bible studies and working at the homeless shelter are replaced with family dinners and our spouses' office parties. For many of us, this is great.

Paul, however, felt that marriage would divide his attention.

As a single man, Paul traveled all over Asia and Europe, spreading the gospel. He started churches and debated some of he smartest scholars of all time. What about Peter? What did Peter do? Peter was married. Jesus healed his mother-in-law, which means Peter had a wife (Matt 8:14-15). At the beginning of Acts, we hear a lot about Peter and his work in and around Israel. Yet we don't hear of Peter's adventures around the world. Why? He probably had to stay home, near his wife and family. He took three years off to travel with Christ, but after that, his ministry area became more confined because his attention was divided.

Was Peter ineffective? No. Was he limited in his effectiveness? Yes. Marriage limited him.

Paul goes on to say, "Look, if you can't restrain yourself, get married" (see 1 Cor 7:9). But don't miss the heart of the teaching: unmarrieds may be without a spouse, but they are not without a groom. Singles can be a vital part of the bride of Christ, the church, as it prepares itself for that final, great wedding day.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

124. We taught our kids the Bible, but they have left God. What happened? We thought if we trained them in God's Word, they would not depart from Him. Isn't that what the Bible says?

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Prov 22:6)

Be careful with this verse. Don't interpret it to mean "If I put my kids on the right path, they'll never leave it. If I fill them full of Scripture and Bible lessons and sermons, they may rebel, but they'll eventually return."

The proverb makes no such promise. Salvation is a work of God. Godly parents can prepare the soil and sow the seed, but God gives the growth. (1 Cor 3:6). Moms and dads soften hearts but can't control them.

Show them the path? Yes.

Force them to take it? No.

At moments in my own life I stood at the crossroads of the path and even took a few steps down the wrong one. One thing always brought me back - that inner compass shown to me by my Christ-loving parents.

No child ever leaves God's sight. A child may turn his back on God or try to hide from his sight. But leave God's view? Impossible. God has his eye on every child of his.

The Holy Spirit will follow your child down every back road, every dark alley, every dead end and always remind him of the foundation of belief you showed him - the road back home.

My wife shares this verse with the parents of prodigals. It is a good one for you: "The Lord says, 'This is my agreement with these people: My Spirit and my words that I give you will never leave you or your children or your grandchildren, now and forever'" (Isa 59:21).

By: Max Lucado