MAX ON LIFE

125. I was raised in a Christian home, but now that I'm thirty-four and unmarried, I struggle with loneliness and insecurity. I'm afraid of being alone but even more afraid of the temptation to embrace sin just to keep from being alone. Where can I find a candle of hope in the darkness of loneliness?

It's natural that you long for companionship. It's in our DNA. God used part of a man to make a woman. A couple fits together like a human puzzle, strengths complementing weaknesses, passions unifying hearts, love at the core. These two undefined pieces make a complete picture when they meet. Consequently, a single person might feel incomplete. Life becomes an unfinished puzzle for them, searching for the other piece.

Many singles think marriage makes life perfect. Hmm, just ask a married person about that. Marriage complicates many things. Being single, at times, is easier. You have only one person to worry about. Add a spouse and a couple of kids, and your needs become secondary.

Paul know this and liked being single.

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Cor 7:32-35)

Marriage redefines our service. Participating in Bible studies and working at the homeless shelter are replaced with family dinners and our spouses' office parties. For many of us, this is great.

Paul, however, felt that marriage would divide his attention.

As a single man, Paul traveled all over Asia and Europe, spreading the gospel. He started churches and debated some of he smartest scholars of all time. What about Peter? What did Peter do? Peter was married. Jesus healed his mother-in-law, which means Peter had a wife (Matt 8:14-15). At the beginning of Acts, we hear a lot about Peter and his work in and around Israel. Yet we don't hear of Peter's adventures around the world. Why? He probably had to stay home, near his wife and family. He took three years off to travel with Christ, but after that, his ministry area became more confined because his attention was divided.

Was Peter ineffective? No. Was he limited in his effectiveness? Yes. Marriage limited him.

Paul goes on to say, "Look, if you can't restrain yourself, get married" (see 1 Cor 7:9). But don't miss the heart of the teaching: unmarrieds may be without a spouse, but they are not without a groom. Singles can be a vital part of the bride of Christ, the church, as it prepares itself for that final, great wedding day.

By: Max Lucado