MAX ON LIFE

94. No one warned my wife and me about the whole sexual differences thing. I think this discussion should be in all premarital classes. We are sorting it out, but it was a surprising challenge.

Men and women are different. We love that.

Men and women are different. We hate that!

Love or hate the differences, let's understand them.

Wives, understand that your husband sees sex as a primary need. Men, understand that your wife sees sex as optional. In one study when men were asked to rank the importance of sex, they consistently scored it 1, 2, or 3. (I think some scored it 1, 2, and 3). Women, on average, ranked sex in the number 13 slot - right behind "gardening together". Apparently the presence of a good garden indicates a restless husband.

Men and women are different. Men categorize the sexual experience. The husband can have a horrible day, be anticipating World War III the next, hear a tornado outside, and still enjoy sex right now.

The wife doesn't as quickly detach or disentangle from the demands of life. And she may take offense that her husband does. "How can you think about that at a time like this?"

His response: "It's easy."

She thinks he is insensitive. He thinks she's a prude. Neither is right. Both can understand the other better. Take a servant attitude into your sex life. "Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves" (Rom 12:10).

Here's another example. Men, about once a month, your wife's body passes through an inward mutiny. Her moods can swing, and her body becomes sensitive. Her irritability is some form of internal rebooting. Be patient during these days. She endures your outbursts over lost football games or rained-out fishing trips. You can be supportive too.

Wives, when it comes to sexual stimuli, your husbands live in a Las Vegas light show. Telling him not to think so much about sex is like telling him to ignore doughnuts in a Krispy Kreme shop. It's everywhere - magazines, billboards, television, movies. Why, companies use curvy models to sell bass boats. Be patient and pray for him.

In fact, pray about this issue. Kneel at the bed together and pray: "Lord, this is your will and your marriage. Help us honor you in this bed."

I know; it's a prayer rarely prayed. Which could be the reason for so many conflicts.

By: Max Lucado