When we became parents, we took on the roles of chauffeur, chaperone, EMT, coach, provider, recreational director, and sex education instructor. Most of us feel woefully inadequate on this last assignment. However, some ideas may help.
Model healthy sexuality in your home. Express appropriate affection. When kids see parents holding hands or kissing good-bye before going to work, this sends a healthy message: physical affection is not to be feared.
On the other hand, if children discover inappropriate sexuality in the lives of their parents, the poor example leaves an indelible impression. If children find their dad's porn on the computer or in the garage, discover romantic text messages on mom's phone but not sent by dad, or awaken to see their single parent's date from the night before cooking breakfast, they take note. Hypocrisy speaks loudly. Don't underestimate the damage of a bad example, and don't underestimate the power of a good one.
Be "askable". When we hear our kids ask about condoms, periods, or intercourse, we are tempted to cover our ears or wash out their mouths. There is no need to overreact. Just do your best. Give clear, age-appropriate answers. Small children need only basic information. Teenagers need more details. At some point all children need to understand that sexual activity and desires are God's good idea. Urgings and interests are not dirty or dangerous. Sex is God's gift, yet it is a wedding gift.
Again, children deserve to hear this message from their parents. I like the idea of parents presenting their child, sometime in early adolescence, with a purity ring or necklace that the teenager can wear as a symbol. Others cosign covenants of sexual purity in which parents and kids promise to honor God's standard.
Connect with a community of faith. You stack the odds in your children's favor by plugging them into a Christian youth group. This only makes sense. When teenagers' best friends are Christians, when their favorite hangout is a youth group, when you help them have healthy peers and hear Christ-honoring truth, you're giving your children a head start.
Make your home a place of grace. Young people mess up. They go too far too fast, and when they do, moms and dads, let's give them a safe place to land. Let's give our children what God gives us: clear teaching, appropriate correction, and abundant forgiveness.
By: Max Lucado
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