MAX ON LIFE

39. My ex-wife and I share joint custody of our kids. She constantly says negative things about me to our kids and seems intent on destroying my relationship with them. I want to keep a positive relationship with her for the sake of the kids, but it's so hard to keep forgiving her.

We forgive the one-time offenders. We dismiss the parking-place takers, the date breakers, and even the purse snatchers.

We can move past the misdemeanors, but the felonies? The repeat offenders? Vengeance fixes your attention of life's ugliest moments. Score settling freezes your state at cruel events in your past. Is this where you want to look? Will rehearsing and reliving your hurts make you a better person? By no means. It will destroy you.

Your enemies still figure into God's plan. Their pulse is proof: God hasn't given up on them. They may be out of God's will but not out of his reach. You honor God when you see them not as his failures but as his projects.

God occupies the only seat on the supreme court of heaven. He wears the robe and refuses to share the gavel. For this reason Paul wrote, "Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. 'I'll do the judging', says God. 'I'll take care of it' " (Rom 12:19).

Revenge removes God from the equation. Vigilantes displace and replace God. "I'm not sure you can handle this one, Lord. You may punish too little or too slowly. I'll take this matter into my hands, thank you."

Only God assesses accurate judgments. We impose punishments too slight or too severe. God dispenses perfect justice. Vengeance is his job. Leave your enemies in God's hands. You're not endorsing their misbehavior when you do. You can hate what someone did without letting hatred consume you. Forgiveness is not excusing.

You have an opportunity to teach your children, during your limited time together, a valuable lesson in forgiveness. Revenge and retaliation are not yours. Model for your children the same attitude Jesus showed in his life and on the cross.

By: Max Lucado