MAX ON LIFE

124. We taught our kids the Bible, but they have left God. What happened? We thought if we trained them in God's Word, they would not depart from Him. Isn't that what the Bible says?

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Prov 22:6)

Be careful with this verse. Don't interpret it to mean "If I put my kids on the right path, they'll never leave it. If I fill them full of Scripture and Bible lessons and sermons, they may rebel, but they'll eventually return."

The proverb makes no such promise. Salvation is a work of God. Godly parents can prepare the soil and sow the seed, but God gives the growth. (1 Cor 3:6). Moms and dads soften hearts but can't control them.

Show them the path? Yes.

Force them to take it? No.

At moments in my own life I stood at the crossroads of the path and even took a few steps down the wrong one. One thing always brought me back - that inner compass shown to me by my Christ-loving parents.

No child ever leaves God's sight. A child may turn his back on God or try to hide from his sight. But leave God's view? Impossible. God has his eye on every child of his.

The Holy Spirit will follow your child down every back road, every dark alley, every dead end and always remind him of the foundation of belief you showed him - the road back home.

My wife shares this verse with the parents of prodigals. It is a good one for you: "The Lord says, 'This is my agreement with these people: My Spirit and my words that I give you will never leave you or your children or your grandchildren, now and forever'" (Isa 59:21).

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

123. We're trying to teach our children humility, but at the same time we don't want to destroy their self-esteem. What would you say is a good balance?

There are two verses, both found in Philippians that you should teach your kids because they balance the spectrum of humility and self-esteem.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves". (2:3)

"I can do everything through him (God) who gives me strength". (4:13)

Philippians 2:3 says to treat others better than myself.

Philippians 4:13 says God treats me well.

The first says others are more worthy than I am.

The second says I am worthy because God uses me.

The first says I am lower than others.

The second says I am greater because of God's strength.

Self-esteem is what people see when they look in the mirror - what they understand as their value. A constant diet of "you're not important; others are" certainly seems to devalue a person. But it doesn't have to, as long as you remember the second verse. You are strong.

One characteristic we don't find in Jesus is a lack of confidence. He took on the Pharisees, braved angry crowds, stood his ground when others twisted his words, went to the cross confident of his mission, and all the while "did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).

Teach your child to be a confident servant who knows his purpose in serving others and loves his boss because his boss loved him first and gives him all the strength he needs to face the world.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

122. The world today - people and certainly the media - encourages our children to be self-indulgent. I don't think all this self-preoccupation will help them grow into mature adults. Am I off base here?

Taught at an early age, self-indulgence becomes a way of life. Every beat of a child's heart becomes "me-me, me-me, me-me, me-me".

Television does not present the best methods:

• Kids who get every gadget and goody they want
• Kids who, in thirty minutes, solve all their problems
• Kids who get laughs with their sassy comeback to stupid adults

Television dangles the fruit in front of our kids and says, "Doesn't this way of life look good? Indulge yourself".

But self-indulgence is a problem facing not only our children but humankind. In fact, self-indulgence got us into this mess. "Go ahead, Eve. Eat that fruit. It looks so good. Indulge yourself."

Television only promotes what the world already thinks. So how do yo teach your children well? Give them new models.

Other kids - Make sure they hang out with other kids who don't "have it all" or whose parents don't rush out and buy the latest thing.

Parents - Are they learning self-indulgence from you? Do your schedule and your own priorities take precedence over them? Do you have more toys than they do?

Jesus - Feed them a consistent message of Jesus Christ, focusing on his humility and his self-sacrifice. "Jesus .... was given a position a little lower than the angels" (Heb 2:9). Jesus chose servanthood, and he is the King! Can't we do the same?

Kids need to get turned on to new models of self-sacrifice to realize that life is not one big TV show and the plots don't always center on them.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

121. My job requires lots of overtime, so I can't attend many of my kids' school activities. My wife worries about this a lot. Could this have a negative effect on our kids? Or on my relationship with them?

As a father of three girls, I struggled with the same issues. As God blessed my ministry, more and more calls came in from all over the world, wanting me to speak at churches, conferences, and grand openings of supermarkets. It was hard to say no at first. I felt every opportunity was from God.

Finally I realized that every time I said yes to something, I had to say no to something else. It's called Max's Yes Law of Inverse Dynamics. Look it up! It says this: with every yes in your schedule, there is an equal and opposite no reaction

When I said yes to another speaking engagement, I said no to another family dinner.

When I said yes to another meeting, I said no to my girls' volleyball game.

When I said yes to another book tour, I said no to taking a walk with my wife.

So how do we show people that we love and believe in them? There are many ways to express those feelings - verbal affirmation, love letters, phone calls, even a quick text message saying, "I'm thinking of you". They're all good, but there's one that's the best.

I talked about it in my book A Love Worth Giving:

Do you believe in your kids? Then show up. Show up at their games. Show up at their plays. Show up at their recitals. It may not be possible to make each one, but it's sure worth the effort.... You want to bring out the best in someone? Then show up.

Now that my girls are all grown up, believe me, I'm glad I made that decision to show up before it was too late. Now (cue "Cat's in the Cradle" in the background) I miss those Meet the Teacher Nights and seeing their papier-mache volcano at the science fair and sitting in the stands at the big volleyball meet, even if they were on the bench the whole time.

When it comes to kids and family, it is a lot easier to make money than to make up lost time.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

120. How do I get out of a bad mood? Sometimes I want to snap at anything that moves - and I do!

Some folks don't know we have an option. To listen to our vocabulary, you'd think we are the victims of our thoughts. "Don't talk to me", we say. "I'm in a bad mood". As if a mood were a place to which we are assigned ("I can't call you; I'm in Bosnia") rather than an emotion we permit.

Or we say, "Don't mess with her. She has a bad disposition". Is a disposition something we "have"? Like a cold or the flu? Are we the victims of the emotional bacteria of the season? Or do we have a choice?

Paul says we do: "We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ" (2 Cor 10:5).

Do you hear some battlefield jargon in that passage - "capture every thought", "make it give up and obey Christ"? You get the impression that we are the soldiers and the thoughts are our enemies. Our assignment is to protect the homeland and refuse entrance to trashy thoughts. The minute they appear on the horizon, we go into action. "This heart belongs to God", we declare, "and you aren't getting in here until you change your allegiance".

"Selfishness, step back! Envy, get lost! Find another home, Anger! You aren't allowed on this turf". Capturing thoughts is serious business.

We are not a victim of our thoughts. We have a vote. We have a voice. We can exercise thought prevention.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

119. More than anything in the world I want to be a good mom to my kids. How can I be the mom God wants me to be?

The virgin birth is more, much more, than a Christmas story. It is a picture of how close Christ will come to you, a mom, as you also bring a child into the world.

Imagine yourself in that story found in Luke 1.

God comes to you and says, "I have a special task for you A child. A special child that I want to entrust to you. Are you willing to raise this one?"

You stammer, take a breath. "This sounds scary".

"Don't worry. I'll be there with you. This child is special to me. He will be a great child."

You shake your head. "Such an awesome responsibility. I don't know if I can do it."

"Nothing is impossible with me."

You smile. "I am your servant. I'll do it".

Do we think only one child received God's special attention? Sure, only one was his Son, and an angel sent out those special birth announcements. accompanied by an angelic choir singing "Happy Birthday". Of course God pulled out all the stops for Jesus' birth.

But children aren't randomly born to parents. God orchestrates the right children to be born to the right parents.

Being the mom God wants you to be starts with the understanding of how important your job is in God's eyes. He entrusts you with one of his own children. He chose you out of all the moms in the world for this one child.

Remember, you, too, are hight favored by God himself to receive such a special gift.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

117. Now that my two sons are adults, they have strayed far from God. I pray daily for their return. As I wait, I can't help but worry that their hearts are becoming harder and that they will not return to God.

No child of God is too far from home.

The prodigal son assumed he was. He had spurned his father's kindness and "journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living" (Luke 15:13). The word translated here as wasted is the same Greek verb used to describe the action of a seed-sowing farmer. Envision him throwing handfuls of seeds onto tilled earth. Envision the prodigal tossing his father's money to greedy merchants: a roll of bills at one club, a handful of coins at another. He rides the magic carpet of cash from one party to the next. His heart grows hard.

And then one day his wallet grows thin. The credit card comes back. The maitre d' says, "No"; the hotel says, "Go"; and the boy says, "Uh-oh". He slides from high hog at the trough to low pig in the mud. He finds employment feeding swine. Not a recommended career path for a Jewish boy. His heart breaks.

The hunger so gnaws at his gut that he considers eating with the pigs. But rather than swallow the pods, he swallows his pride and begins that famous walk homeward, rehearsing a repentance speech with each step. Turns out he didn't need it. "His father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him" (v 20). The father was saving the son's place. His heart softened.

There's a place for your sons too. They are always invited to return to the place of honor. It just takes some time and some prayer to get their hearts right.

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

115. Every day I worry about my children. Although they are safe and happy today, I still worry about them. I worry if they will remain true to God. I worry if they will marry good people. I worry if they might get sick and suffer pain. How do I control these worries?

What would parents do without worry? It almost seems as if it's in the job description: "Parents Wanted. Must be able to perform sleepless nights and meaningless pacing, wringing their hands and biting their nails."

The only things worry promises are stubby fingers and sore feet.

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" (Matt 6:27)

Worry has no positive side effects. In fact, it subtracts moments from your life in the form of heart stress and rising blood pressure.

Worry is antitrust. If you are worried, you don't trust something.

- Your kids - The weather

- Their mode of transportation - The church

- Their friends - Their future spouse

- Strangers - God

God takes care of millions of birds, billions of flowers. Can he take care of your children? Certainly.

How do you stop worrying? Jesus made it clear.

"Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about life." (Matt 6:25)

Pretty blunt answer. Stop it! Just say no to worry. Slap at it like a bloodsucking mosquito. Easier said than done, huh?

Worry tests your trust, so hand your children to God and let Him babysit your babies when you're not around. He's pretty good at it.

"Casting the whole of your care (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him." (1 Peter 5:7)

By: Max Lucado

MAX ON LIFE

114. My wife and I serve on a foreign mission field. W moved our family here in response to God's guidance. But now we are facing problems with our kids and we are wondering whether we made a mistake in coming here.

I wonder how Noah felt, cramming his family onto a luxury animal cruise (Gen 6:13-7:5).

Did Abraham ever regret moving from Ur to Canaan (Gen 12:1-4)?

Or did Joseph question his forced relocation into slavery (Gen 37:12-28)?

I wonder if Moses ever thought that moving his family and his people to the promised land was a mistake (Genesis - Deuteronomy).

I'm sure at times all of them suffered a twinge of doubt, but overall, in the end, it made sense. Why? Because God called all of them to these places.

Hebrews 11 summarizes the stories of people who were asked to do things by God, but none of the tasks made sense at the time. They acted in faith. The kind of faith that does but never sees.

If God called you to a foreign mission field, he already knows all the parameters, all the possibilities, all the problems that could occur. He's considered what will happen to you and your spouse, how it will affect your kids, and what it will mean to the people you serve.

He took care of Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and their families as they moved out into foreign mission fields.

Why not you?

By: Max Lucado